


illegal fantasies

by ObsessedWithBands



Series: For Our Eyes Only (BTS/TxT) [1]
Category: TXT (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Age Difference, Based On It's Snack Time of BigHit on Youtube, Bottom Choi Soobin, Choi Soobin is Whipped, Dirty Thoughts, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Panic, Hand Jobs, Hyung Kink, M/M, Male Solo, Masturbation in Bathroom, Sexual Fantasy, Tags Are Hard, Top Kim Seokjin | Jin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22231381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObsessedWithBands/pseuds/ObsessedWithBands
Summary: sometimes soobin wishes too hard for something impossible.but thinking about seokjin-hyung makes him wish for it even more.orsoobin sees jin eat food, and the way he does it drives soobinwild.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Kim Seokjin | Jin
Series: For Our Eyes Only (BTS/TxT) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623355
Comments: 16
Kudos: 168





	illegal fantasies

i rushed to tuck my hat over my hair, making sure nothing stuck out and everything was smooth. i turned my head to the right and eyed my sideburns. i looked to the left and glanced at my bangs.

"soobin-hyung, you look perfectly fine." huening kai startled me, his playful voice hitting my ears like my bedside alarm clock at home. i sighed, shaking my head at him and wishing he would leave me alone. nothing seemed 'perfectly fine' right now...my hair was the wrong color, my outfit was too basic, my skin wasn't as clear as i wanted it to be. 

but i needed to be that confident leader.

"thanks huening-ssi...you look good too."

i eyed his purple jersey, noticing how the stylists hadn't given _him_ a hat to wear. was i the only person wearing a hat?

i looked around the room, seeing the cameramen getting ready to film us. beomgyu and taehyun were wearing headbands. huening kai and yeonjun weren't wearing any hair accessories. i guess they really wanted me to stand out? of all days?

"okay, boys--it's time to go." one of the noonas said. i murmured a reply while i stared at myself in the mirror. the other members echoed each other, but their responses were definitely more enthusiastic than mine. i let out a long sigh and reached up to my hair once again, wishing the stray hairs could just fix themselves.

all of a sudden, yeonjun appeared behind me and batted the bill of my hat, and i jumped up in shock.

"yeonjun-hyung, stop." i whirled around to face him, my breathing ragged because he basically ruined all my progress with my hair. _just great._

"he's gonna be there...!" yeonjun sing-songed, tickling the side of my neck like he always did. he stared at me with his huge, cheerful eyes and his big, teasing smile. i immediately shushed him.

"be quiet, hyung, _please_ ," i said, frowning at him softly so he knew i was actually mad. we've been friends for long enough that i knew when he didn't take me seriously.

and _he_ was the only one who knew i had an overwhelming crush on jin-hyung.

this was the kind of crush that happened instantly, as soon as i met him. his infectious laughter had the power to make everyone feel happy. his perfectly shaped lips, his stunning smile, _god._ he always gave me that fluttery feeling in my heart every time i locked eyes with him. and it really wasn't hard to feel jealous of the other members--they were lucky to see him every single day.

"okay okay okay. but don't tell me you're not excited to see him again. i could hear your heart screaming 'jin-hyung' from all the way across the room." yeonjun laughed, swatting my shoulder and making me laugh as we walked towards the door. the camera guy walking in front of me counted down, and i knew that as soon as he started rolling, i would have to put on a bright smile and go with the flow.

so i momentarily pushed jin-hyung and my annoying best friend's comments out of my mind.

on the way to the 'bighit reunion' room, i talked about my outfit and how my confidence was a bit down. but, like he always did, huening kai backed me up and made us all smile.

the camera cut away just before we turned the corner, allowing us a few seconds to mentally prepare. allowing _me_ a few seconds to make minor adjustments. i fixed my hat one last time. i could already hear their voices, taking about show music core.

_he's right behind that door._

i stood right in front of it, wishing there was another hallway behind it so i would have even more time to get myself together. i took in a deep breath, but then i remembered my four brothers _and_ the camera people were waiting for me to knock. 

"hey, you okay?"

beomgyu spoke from behind me. i took a deep breath, then nodded. closed my eyes. _i can do this. i'm a leader. i'm their leader. do what namjoon-hyung would do._

"yeah, i just...needed to think about what to say to them. they're so intimidating." i chuckled nervously, hoping that response would cover my anxiety. thankfully, yeonjun giggled, and a wave of relief passed through me.

my left fist moved towards the wood. i dug my fingernails into the palm of my right hand.

_here we go._

"hello!"

yeonjun's voice was the next thing i heard.

a room _without_ jin-hyung was the next thing i saw.

"hello," i said, turning to each person with a small smile on my face.

lee hyun-hyung, hoseok-hyung, v-hyung and jungkook-hyung were standing around a table and eating pretzels together. i bowed to each one of them, including jimin-hyung and yoongi-hyung, who joined them at the table. behind me, my group members filed out until everyone had room to breathe.

as hoseok-hyung asked us about our eating habits and offered us food, i picked up one of the cinnamon pretzels and gnawed on it thoughtfully. i let yeonjun squeeze in front of me to get a piece for himself. around the room, there were more camera people, adding to the bodies in the already warm room.

i felt happy.

but still not complete.

_where were namjoon-hyung and...jin-hyung?_

after letting beomgyu get a bite of my pretzel, all the other words spoken in the room melted away. my mind wandered.

i started thinking less about this bighit family meetup, and more about how jin-hyung's absence changed everything.

whenever i was in the same room as jin-hyung, it always sounded like everyone was laughing about something. it's like as soon as i enter a room with him, he causes everyone to feel more excited, giddy and happy. it wasn't just his confident, badass personality, though. like, one second i'm watching a video of jin-hyung showing off his vocals, but then the next second i discover i'm watching a video about his perfectly wacky dance moves.

i could only imagine what it was like to live in a dorm with him and six other amazingly hot guys.

at that thought, i accidentally inhaled my next bite of pretzel.

"oh god, are--are you okay, soobin-hyung?" taehyun laughed, reaching behind me and patting my back. i smiled at myself as i continued to cough the pretzel out, trying so hard not to tear up as much. how _embarrassing_.

"i--i'm okay." i choked out once i finally got the bite of pretzel dislodged from my throat. i glanced at the camera person right next to me, hoping he would cut that out of the video. without having to ask him, he reached up and showed me the 'ok' sign with his fingers. i bowed to him as a thank you.

after regaining my composure, i got back on track by finishing off my pretzel and reaching for another bite. as v-hyung talked about how sleepy he was, i decided to half the pretzel piece with beomgyu and help him tear it apart.

the outside conversation between the seniors progressed into the boy with luv performance between txt and bts.

"they said they prepared the dance, but they forgot," v-hyung spoke, turning to hoseok-hyung and gesturing to us. i smiled to myself, remembering when we practiced the dance in our studio while laughing at ourselves in the mirror. the thing is, though, we only practiced it once. only beomgyu and taehyun seemed invested in the choreography, anyway. i was too busy watching jin-hyung dance in the music video.

we continued to persuade our seniors that we really had practiced, but again...my mind wasn't one hundred percent present. even when hoseok-hyung took out more pretzels for us to devour.

_i can't wait until jin-hyung comes._

then.

_then._

all of a sudden, i hear the door open. my heart skipped a beat.

"hellooo!" yeonjun piped up, and i whipped around to see who was at the door.

namjoon-hyung walked in wearing a black hood over his head and holding a green jacket in his left arm. i bowed and said hello, but as soon as i was done i looked behind him. another staff member. another staff member. another--

"hey, leader!" namjoon-hyung walked up to me with open arms. i smiled halfheartedly, wrapping my arms around him and hearing him congratulate me on my hard work. i nodded and nodded, did anything that could hurry up our conversation a little more. i let go of him once he let go of me, and then he stepped to my right to hug yeonjun next.

and _oh my god, there he was._

worldwide handsome.

"hey, lee hyun-hyung!" jin-hyung called out, walking right past us and reaching out to hug his senior. i blinked twice.

_don't freak out. don't panic. don't overreact._

i picked up yet another pretzel stick, biting into it and pretending like everything was okay.

but i still stared at him.

_he's wearing a pink velvet jacket. his hair is dyed a soft brown but it looks like he has silver highlights. he's wearing a plain white shirt but also wearing pink velvet pants. he looks like a glowing ray of happiness._

as i finished off the rest of the pretzel, i squinted my eyes very slightly so i could look at jin-hyung even closer without humiliating myself and acting like a crush-crazed middle schooler. _god, he's so tall._

"there he is..." yeonjun whispered in my ear, and i pressed my index finger to my lips so he wouldn't speak anymore. i was already overheating because of being in the same room as jin-hyung, i didn't need anymore reasons to feel stressed. in front of me, the cameraman trained his lens on me for a few seconds, and i had to pretend like nothing happened. thankfully, he turned away right after i kept myself in check.

but then...i saw jin-hyung move over to the snack table.

i held my breath as he greeted each one of us.

when he got to me...he did something that made my whole world crash down all around me.

"how are you, soobin-ssi?" he said, reaching next to him and picking up a pretzel stick.

and he didn't speak in his normally playful voice, one that he used to tell a dad joke. instead, he used a voice that i've never heard before. he spoke as if he had just gotten up from a nap. husky. deep.

more...intimate.

i locked eyes with him, shrugging a little while trying to formulate an actual answer in my brain. he was even staring into my eyes like we were in a freaking drama.

"i--i'm good."

but that answer was so, so incorrect.

because he just raised the pretzel stick, put it in his mouth, and even though the pretzel stick was on average size, he had reached the halfway point with his lips. oh my _god._

he bit into the pretzel and then lowered his hand down again, but i couldn't take my eyes off those perfect, plush lips. they were moving as he chewed, those pink, peach slices on his face and they're so shiny, so perfect, so timeless--

he licked his top lip. 

i knotted my eyebrows together, tucking my bottom lip in between my teeth. an unsettling--yet really, _really_ good--feeling washed over me. i looked down at the floor and then i remembered...

i'm wearing loose basketball shorts.

"ah--excuse me, i gotta go to the restroom. i'm so sorry." i rushed out, side-stepping him and then walking away. i accidentally pushed past yeonjun while moving towards the door, and i heard him gasp in surprise but i didn't look back. if i looked back, maybe he wouldn't be the only one looking at me.

i placed my two hands on the door, pushing hard so it would fly open. a harsh slam echoed in my ears when the door hit the other side of the wall.

i balled my hands into fists as i started jogging down the hallway, digging my fingernails into my palms and cursing myself for being so hyper-sensitive to any little thing he did.

"keep it in your fucking _pants_ for once!" i groaned to myself as soon as i stepped inside the empty bathroom.

i rushed into the stall at the end and leaned against the wall, tilting my head towards the ceiling. flashbacks started rushing into my head--his face, his soft smile, those _lips._

nothing could ever set me off as quickly as kim seokjin.

" _ah_ , fuck--" i whispered, looking down at the growing tent on my shorts.

i could feel the head of my cock pushing against the fabric of my boxers, already begging for some sort of friction. i stared up at the ceiling again, closing my eyes and brushing my fingers through my bangs.

_why does he have to be so perfect all the time?_

for a moment i stared at the closed door of the stall. i've never felt this needy in my whole life. even when i was younger, just discovering how good it felt to rut against a pillow or flick my wrist at the tip, nothing compared to thinking about a crush and then _seeing_ his beautiful face in front of me right after. it wasn't hard to imagine the person in question, walking into the stall after me and then pressing his lips against my neck and mouth and...

"oh g-god," i choked, feeling a bead of precum appear at the tip of my cock. i felt myself twitch, and my hand moved to my crotch out of habit. the feeling of my palm through the fabric of my basketball shorts made me inhale sharply.

it was to the point where i contemplated yanking down my waistband and jacking myself off as fast as possible right then and there--but i also wanted this to last longer.

who knows when i'm gonna see _him_ again?

as soon as i started palming myself through my shorts, i threw my head back and let my jaw fall. breaths of air left my mouth in small intervals, and i had to fight the urge to moan out loud. i bit down on my bottom lip once again and looked down at my hand.

suddenly, i thought about what it would look like if it was jin's hand instead.

"h-hyung," i moaned out loud, and my eyes widened. i slapped my other hand over my mouth, hoping with all my heart that my voice didn't sound as loud as i thought. i needed him. i needed his voice, his touch, his everything...if he was really here, maybe i would be ashamed at first, but then...

things could end up differently. maybe he would help me.

i slowly closed my eyes, letting my brain paint a new world...a world where jin was actually beside me.

we'd be sitting together on the floor.

his strong arms would be around me, his broad shoulders parallel to mine. his chest would be pressed up against my back. i would be able to hear each soft breath he took.

jin would whisper in my ear, making me relax and close my eyes while he brushed his fingers over my arms. he would leave kisses on my neck, and maybe he would even bite down on my skin and leave a mark to show everyone that i was his...

a soft moan escaped my mouth as the image grew sharper in my mind.

i tucked my hand into my boxers, pushing down the waistband ever so slightly so i would be able to hold it without restraint. jin would tell me to touch myself...just for him. for his eyes only.

as i started moving my fist from shaft to tip, the precum that was leaking out made the slide smoother and more pleasurable.

the desire to speed up was overwhelming. i pictured jin telling me to take it slow, and i relished in the feeling of him taking control. i wanted him to give me orders. i wanted him to kiss me all over my body. but i also wanted him to push me so hard, i'd break.

my breath hitched as i bucked up into my fist, closing my fingers a little more so it would be tighter.

as time passed, it got harder and harder to hold myself up in a standing position.

i could hear jin's voice telling me when to flick my wrist, when to speed up or slow down, and to moan for him. and i obeyed everything.

his face was in front of mine, his perfectly arched eyebrows knotting together and his eyes trained on every detail of my face. whenever i let out a lucid sound, his lips would curl up into a smile that had the power to permanently erase global warming from the earth.

i wanted to kiss him so badly, to feel those lips sliding against mine and even his teeth tugging on my bottom lip. i wanted to feel how hard he was, knowing that he had gotten worked up just from hearing my needy whines.

my eyes rolled back into my head when i started picking up the pace, more precum coating my palm and making my skin heat up. i could feel the sweat dripping from my forehead. _god, he makes me become such a mess._

"jin-hyuuung," i cried out, wishing that he was here to kiss my cheek, tell me that he would take care of me, guide me through this and promise that he was always there for me.

my hand sped up even more, and every time i reached the head i flicked my wrist and made myself whine in response. it felt like my heart was beating a mile a minute.

i started feeling that familiar pressure in my lower stomach a few minutes later, the need for a release clouding my brain.

i pictured jin locking eyes with me and holding my chin so i wouldn't be able to look away. the thought of him watching my every reaction made me feel so vulnerable, but still so _good_.

"i'm gonna c-cum, hyung," i stuttered, the pleasure coursing through my veins and straight to my cock.

deep down i knew this was so wrong to think about an older brother like this. we were just coworkers, in separate bands, trying to make it in the world of music. but nothing could stop me from seeing how flawless jin was, as an individual and as a hyung.

i was in heaven and hell, at the same time. 

and it felt great.

"i c-can't h-hold it anym-more--" i panted, throwing my head back as my fist reached the head of my oversensitive cock.

i envisioned jin connecting his lips to my neck, murmuring praises into my skin and then biting down _hard_ to push me over the edge.

and then, i was falling.

i let out a string of curses and a few whimpers as white stripes came out of my cock and landed on the bathroom floor. fireworks exploded in my brain and in my heart. my fingertips sparked as if i had just touched an electric socket. i felt so tingly, all over my body.

a shy giggle came out of my mouth.

_that has got to be my best one yet._

i breathed in and out through my mouth until my heartbeat finally slowed down to a natural pace. i worked myself through my high, picturing the image of jin-hyung's perfect fingers stroking me and making me feel like i had just won a million awards.

but i don't need them...if it means i could have him instead.

"soobin...?"

_dammit, i'm so drawn to him i'm starting to imagine his real voice._

"soobin..."

_why does his voice always have to sound that sexy?_

all of a sudden, my stall door flew open and hit the wall with a bang. i screamed an unflattering scream, then batted the door closed as a reflex. but a hand stopped it before the door could even make it to the lock.

i stared in the direction of the hand, and peeking around the door with wide, confused eyes, was jin himself.

a thousand words flew through my head, some smart, some stupid--i searched for anything that would help me get my head on straight. something that wouldn't sound as humiliating as i looked right now.

jin-hyung stood before me between the swinging stall door, tucking his hands in his pockets and...with a comforting smile on his face. he reached one hand up to his hair, carding his fingers through the brown locks and then returning it to his left pocket.

"i heard you from outside, and i just wanted to tell you..."

i braced myself for the worst. he was definitely gonna tell me i'm so disgusting. or that i was so trashy. so naughty. i squeezed my eyes shut as he parted his lips, and then i heard his deep voice say seven, unexpected words:

"you could have just asked for help."

**Author's Note:**

> *exhales loudly* oof ;)
> 
> this takes place during [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBMDK9oR8x4)...make sure to watch it to get the full experience :) love you


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